Here I am, sitting cross-legged on the white duvet enveloping my bed, sipping on some lukewarm black cherry tea as memories and thoughts cross my dazed mind, every one of them a little bit more bittersweet than the last. They cut through me like sharp knives, slicing through every vein, allowing my emotions to come pouring out of the womb. My exhausted body is asking for sleep but the demons in my head aren't tired just yet. Maybe it's the masochistic part of me that finds pleasure in such sorrow or maybe it's just human nature, but I cannot find the will or the way to pull myself out of these tumultuous waters that are now imprisoning me. In fact I lean into them. Let the waves come crashing over my head and wrap me up in this cold embrace. Let myself drown. Deeper and deeper, down to the ocean floor where I find comfort in the unknown.